a thing; w/ ruinsprofessor & conductingresistance

[simulsimul]

universe list
canon
breached
confessed
dadly
future
grigori
mercenary
MEover
origin
reversal
titans


scenario list
canon: Kratos needs to stop running off
confessed: wing reflex
confessed: actual wingpull
confessed: turning Renegade
confessed: son meets father
dadliness: confrontation
dadliness: awakening
dadliness: illness
dadliness: a fundamental lack of understanding on the word 'abducted'
dadliness: updating parameters
dadliness: assassination assignation
mercenary: hiding in the library
mercenary: aftermath of librarian saviour
reversal: oracle destroyed
titans: storming the tower
titans: safety in the canyon
titans: night horrors


canon
- combo of Kratos and Zelos ending
- Zelos does the stupid thing, but not so far as his death, and is still the eighth member of the party to Derris-Kharlan.

scenarios
scenario one: Yuan tracks Kratos down at Dirk's.


breached
- canon right up until after Botta’s death
- no one uses Yuan’s name around Mithos so Mithos walks right into the Triet base with them
- cue an epic OH SHIT in which Yuan gets a lil bit beat up while covering the evacuation of the rest of the base
- until Kratos appears to intervene and have the Chosen group get Yuan out of there
- Mithos gets Kratos tho and he’s a bit mad cos, yanno, traitor and all
- time to be locked up and punished and need to be rescued
- kind of puts a crimp in the creation of the Eternal Ring plans
- mostly cos Mithos turns Kratos lifeless, with some armour to regulate his mana so he remains a seraph. can't have the seal becoming less powerful, yo
- it does mean he can only obey orders tho
- the first rescue fails miserably but at least no one dies and they know they need to reforge his key-crest
- the second rescue attempt (circumstances of canon-point under percolation) goes a little better, though Yuan almost gets killed by Kratos trying to attach the key-crest
- luckily that and the first telepathy in a while gets through and Kratos manages to break out a la Colette, and heal Yuan enough for Raine to get there
- after which, angreh father-son beatdown on Mithos.

scenarios
None yet.


confessed
- almost successful assassination lands Kratos as an injured stranger in Iselia (1-2 years pre-canon)
- recuperation leads to accidental-on-purpose 'holiday' in Iselia
- doubts result in a request for Dirk to make a key-crest like Kratos' own
- oracle room undergoes some stealth sabotage
- regeneration journey is slightly delayed, prompted by Genis and Lloyd being discovered at the ranch
- Triet is awkward. so very awkward. for the Renegades -- whose side is Kratos even on these days and why was he vanished for two years?
- initial overall journey similar to canon, save that Kratos is a bit less circumspect about advising Colette on how to cope with angel transformations
- there are more overt Dun Wanna Feelings
- then Luin, wherein things happen and the group is in town during the Desian attack. the others naturally want to fight but tis a mite difficult against an army and building-destroying magitech. luckily, angel on their side. unluckily, wingpulls in order to muster the power to cover the townspeoples' retreat
- questions and confessions ensue
- Colette rejects the key crest (for the moment) so there's still hopefully maybe ambiguity about Kratos's position re the last seal
- it wouldn't fit anyway, it's modelled for the hand like Kratos's is because he was a derp and did not specify otherwise, so Lloyd needs to make a thing to make it fit
- slow protective retreat toward Asgard.

scenarios
scenario one: Kratos confesses before Salvation; Raine wants to follow up.
scenario two: Raine's examination of an angel; and also Kratos realises how far he's put his foot in it.
scenario three: Kratos goes to taunt Yuan a little, and also ask for his help.
scenario four: in which Raine makes Kratos tell the children all the things, and Yuan takes too much amusement from it.


dadliness
- Kratos retires in Iselia under the name Irving to raise Lloyd after the death of his wife
- no exsphere. ageing occurs! so does a beard and a braid
- teaches Lloyd swordplay, but on the sly, to avoid the other villagers noticing. his daytime job is weaving
- Lloyd finds the box of their exspheres and wants details. after some prodding by Dirk, Kratos explains how exspheres are made and that one is Anna's life. Lloyd is too young yet, but when Lloyd comes of age (~15) Kratos lets him make his own decision re wearing it
- Lloyd chooses not to wear the exsphere
- Genis befriends Marble and Lloyd meets her, as in canon; this happens before the journey begins, with the fallout
- difference being that Colette is still in the village so they can't be too horrible, so they just demand Lloyd be turned over for a flogging
- Kratos stands in his stead because natch. luckily, they're only mooks and don't recognise the bearded weaver as anyone important
- gives Lloyd his guilt complex early tho
- the oracle happens much the same way except Botta doesn't quite recognise the weirdly familiar bearded swordsman
- he does when he's reporting to Yuan tho
      'there was an exceptionally skilled human'
      /brief physical description/
      /did x other faintly recognizable thing/
      and both he and Yuan are aware that Kratos has been awol for a while, so there's a moment of pure silence and dawning 'no, it couldn't be'
- but then obviously one of them has to go make sure
- cue an interruption just out of Triet.

scenarios
scenario one: Yuan feels the need to investigate; this results in Kratos injured and abducted.
scenario two: Yuan realises he can't kill Kratos with his own two hands; Kratos gets mothered.
scenario three: Kratos gets sick on the heels of his recovery. Yuan mothers him some more. Botta disapproves.
scenario four: Kratos recovers and makes an escape attempt. Sort-of.
scenario five: Kratos recovers more and talks to Botta, when not needling Yuan about his lack of preparedness.
scenario six: Sheena's contract takes a slight shift into undercover instead of assassination work.


future
- Aselia is Earth ~10,000 years in the past
- all is peachy-keen except the tree is now underground and the elvens/half-elves/some humans are in hiding in the centre of the planet, hidden thanks to the summon spirits
- Colette is working with humanitarian aid in various impoverished nations
- Zelos is a diplomat in West Asia / Middle East trying to keep the peace
- Yuan is a crotchety lecturer at Cambridge who's also HUGE into environmentalism
- Lloyd and Kratos are having family time in space
- occasionally the trio on Earth meet reincarnations of people they used to know
- but rarely at the same time and almost never in a position where they meet
- but then they start meeting them
- lots of them
- all in the same span of years
- they're starting to think something's hinky
- until the space-elves attack
- and then they know something is hinky.


scenarios
None yet.


grigori
- at some point significantly before canon, Kratos actually calls it quits
- the Church's institution calls him a fallen angel of vengeance
- really he's just going around trying to help people and avoiding being taken back to Cruxis
- assigns himself to the Chosen parties whenever he can, up to Colette
- ????? idk some kind of profit somewhere

scenarios
None yet.


mercenary
- when Yuan visits Kratos at the beach when Lloyd is 3 months old, he does not manage to escape before Anna and Lloyd return
- accidental attachment to this kidlet who likes pulling his hair
- three years later, Yuan can't stand to hold back while Kratos fights Kvar, so he throws caution to the wind to help
- Anna is still killed but they rescue Lloyd and Noishe and both are branded as traitors
- Lloyd is raised as a Renegade with Dad, Uncle Yuan and the extremely reticent Uncle Botta (how dare)
- meanwhile in Tethe'alla Yuan infiltrates the castle as the library archivist
- stays out of sight, mostly, but has a good ear around the politics thanks to recruiting Princess Hilda
- also happens to stumble on Zelos hiding in the library right after his mother's death
- look he's got a 'nephew' he can't just do nothing (even if all he meant was to recommend a book)
- unwittingly accidentally 'adopts' the Tethe'allan Chosen by virtue of being the only one who doesn't treat him like the Chosen
- sometimes Kratos brings Lloyd to visit and basically they're all separate pairs of exasperated bros
- by canon Lloyd and Kratos are wandering mercenaries, helping people on the sly while gathering intel to send back to the Renegades
- Yuan and Zelos are actively building resistance to the Church using inside knowledge
- the ninja are all Renegades
- Colette is escorted by Raine and by the priests
- yes the 'chain up the Chosen and drag her to every seal if necessary' priests
- she meets Lloyd randomly in Triet but Lloyd doesn't know her as the Chosen. they're a bit out of touch on the Journey of Regen timeline
- stuff happens and they keep missing each other up until Palmacosta, which is a warzone between the Desians (and Dorr as their figurehead) and the Renegades (with Neil as their leader)
- Colette wants to help; priests say no
- out come the chains
- Raine objects, but she has no exsphere so what can she do
- btw Genis got caught in the Iselian ranch and tossed in as a traitor to be made a host
- he gets sent to the Palmacosta ranch
- right after Neil manages to take the city, after Colette and Raine leave it, Botta takes the Palmacosta ranch and rescues Genis, among others
- Genis becomes his little shadow and is much preferable to Lloyd, in Botta's opinion
- Lloyd and Kratos are still trying to catch up to Colette to rescue her when they drop by
- Genis hears what they're trying to do and insists on coming along.


scenarios
scenario one: in which Yuan accidentally adopts a Chosen instead of a book from a library.
scenario two: in which Yuan is accidentally-deliberately adopted by the Meltokio Castle Knights.


MEover
- Mass Effect crossover someplace in the realm of 15,000 years after TOS canon
- except started before then, cos elves are really from Feros, planet of the cranky telepathic plant
- got decimated by the protheans trying to assimilate them into their empire
- elves objected, got killed a lot, fled Feros and got stuck in Aselia's orbit
- kinda forgot a few things but planted a seed from the Ferosian mother plant on Aselia
- Origin hasn't forgotten tho, kinda has a grudge against grumblegrumbleprotheansgrumble
- the entirety of TOS happened, and then some
- Kratos, Yuan, Lloyd, Colette and Zelos are the only ones left, but tis okay, they have each other
- somethingsomething natural space disaster, Aselia is destroyed but they manage to move Yggdrasill onto Derris-Kharlan and do a quarian by becoming a roaming ship
- mana is a variant of eezo lbr
- Derris-Kharlan's too big to use the mass relays, but c'mon it generates its own mass effect field so they develop tech to do hops on their own
- they're in no hurry tho, i mean lbr primarily angelic, elf and half-elf population
- so they're just bumming around their local clusters doing thorough investigations on all the things
- so much eezo on their ship
- so much
- suddenly the Normandy running from a reapers comes along to hide behind them
- reapers start shooting
- everyone on Derris-Kharlan objects
- JUDGEMENT IN SPACE
- so much profit and judging of reapers.


scenarios
None yet.


origin
- Kratos tells Lloyd the dad thing in Triet
- dad and son feelings ensue
- they culminate at the Tower of Salvation in Kratos stabbing Yggdrasill in the back
- unfortunately he does not quite die but impales Kratos against a wall and goes berserk on the Chosen party to the point of Yuan stepping in to help
- that is, by threatening to stab Kratos in the back while he's vulnerable (with Kratos's permission)
- Yggdrasill calls his bluff and fails, and Yuan does the thing
- while Yggdrasill is distracted the Chosen's group nail him but good and he retreats
- luckily while heart-stabbing happened, Kratos's cruxis crystal is still intact, and between Raine's healing and Yuan's mana transfusion he survives long enough to be taken to the Triet base and a refresher
- stuff happens in some fashion or other up until opening Origin's seal
- as it turns out, the mana tranfusion has fused the lock, so to speak, and Kratos can't unlock the seal even voluntarily
- only way to get Origin out at this point is to let him fuse with Kratos, so Kratos becomes Origin
- stipulation of this: Kratos refuses to let go of his humanity
- luckily Yuan already has a literal bond with him thanks to the mana transfusion, so with him as his summoner Kratos can keep his humanity, and only use Origin's powers when Yuan summons them
- commitment like woah for a literal eternity
- but hey, they messed up but good and it's the only way they can reunite the worlds.

scenarios
none yet.


reversal
~ 2000 years in, Kratos and Yuan conspire to kill Mithos and succeed, sorta
- he's stuck inside his exsphere, possessing people
- but he manages to survive and while Kratos and Yuan claim Derris-Kharlan for their base, he takes most of the angels as 'fallen', as well as the Eternal Sword
- most of his bases are hidden behind dimensional slips created by the sword - Iselia included
- Origin refuses to trust either Kratos or Yuan with the job, anyhow, and they don't have a summoner
- instead they're forced to fight Cruxis, embroiling the worlds in an angelic war between Cruxis and the new organisation of Chayim
- the Chosen bloodlines are more important to Cruxis than Chayim, but Mithos seals the seals so only the Chosen bloodline can flip the mana switch. Kratos and Yuan need someone to do that until they can reunite them, so the Journey remains an institution, just without compulsory death at the end
- there is angelification tho, if only so Chayim gets more soldiers and so the Chosen can defend themselves against Cruxis
- Kratos sends Anna and Lloyd to Iselia, because even though enemy territory, it's the safest place there is for them
- Anna get word to Kratos that the Desians are using Iselia as a long-term cruxis crystal cultivation location, and that the sword is held there
- her spy succeeds but is intercepted, and Mithos locks down the dimensional slip to prevent exit and access by angels for ~15 years
- Lloyd grows up in a town with a heavy half-elf population and believing he's training to help the good guys
- he has his own cruxis crystal as a host, but doesn't tell his mother due to the faith-based propaganda encouraging hosts not to bring it up or risk the powers not taking
- he wants to help though, so he steals a key-crest to ensure he can fight
- Yuan and Kratos plan to assault the town and shrine but Mithos uses the sword to interrupt travel between worlds, keeping Yuan in Tethe'alla and forcing Kratos to attack Iselia alone.

scenarios
scenario one: Iselia is attacked by Chayim to claim the sword, with the sword already gone


titans
- Yggdrasill captures Kratos before Kvar finds Anna and Lloyd, but after Kratos makes an Eternal Ring
- Yuan figures hell no and raises the Renegades to try and take Derris-Kharlan, rescue Kratos and solve the split-world problem
- the attack fails. a lot.
- Renegades are wiped out, Kratos is still in Cruxis's hands, but Yuan manages to escape with the Eternal Ring
- Cruxis follows him to Triet base, which gets destroyed and the few remaining Renegades scatter
- Botta is still around tho, helping out how he can
- mostly Yuan just goes searching for Lloyd and Anna
- doesn't manage to find them before Kvar does tho, and Kratos hears from Yggdrasill that they're dead
- this is slightly inaccurate, cos Lloyd still winds up rescued by Dirk in Iselia
- where Yuan eventually finds him, not knowing that he's 'supposed' to be dead
- so Yuan settles in Iselia for a bit to watch Lloyd and the Chosen
- cuts and dyes his hair, the whole shebang
- learns how to carpentry, invents a new use of magic lightning and light can totally become a laserbeam amirite
- winds up being Genis's role model just because scholar and magic-user and half-elf who can pass but also takes no shit from people
- is one of Colette's companions on the Journey when it starts
- he's been challenging their understanding of the Church's institution this whole time lbr
- Sheena is still a thing because the ninja have taken over the Tethe'allan base, which has survived, somewhat
- a grilling ensues
- sometime just after the Asgard Ranch Yuan does have to drop the bombshell
- about how the Journey is just a front, he and his bestie are angels, btw his bestie is Lloyd's dad
- how they're out to topple the institution of religion
- forget sacrificing Colette for the Regeneration, when they get to the seal they can do that without anyone dying
- and then move straight on to rescuing Kratos in Derris-Kharlan
- then they get to the Tower and realise Yggdrasill has Kratos under a Prometheusesque punishment a la 'impaled on the Eternal Sword to suffer the Seed's pain and watch the Chosen get murdered'
- luckily this does not happen, as they manage to rescue him and escape Yggdrasill instead, barely
- retreat to Botta's hiding-place in Asgard so Kratos can recover
- and also find out that Lloyd is actually alive
- the Chosen group goes around to make as many pacts as they can while in Sylvarant
- they get up to Aska when Yggdrasill sends his angels to attack Asgard
- cue Yuan and Kratos being unstoppable battle gods together


scenarios
scenario one: in which Yuan leads the Chosen's party to the Tower of Salvation to dismantle all the traditions ever, and find Kratos waiting for them in serious need of a rescue.
scenario two: in which being in safety reveals that Kratos is not precisely unscathed, but he's doing his best.
scenario three: in which Kratos is emphatically not okay, but with Yuan's help, could be.

Comments

[simulsimul]

[From the blood on blades and lust in eyes, they would not have survived. Kratos knows this; does not say it.]

I would not serve you under the cloud of such a lie.

[Very softly, and without looking up. He's already said this, or something to the same effect; but very long ago. He realises he's fiddling, his fingers laced together and moving; he stills them explicitly.]

But I will submit to whatever punishment you choose.

[Even if the thought of death makes his heart skip and his body ready for it. He -- isn't sure what that is; a want to die, a desire to not. He seems to want both.]

[conductingresistance]

[Damn him for being such an honorable man.]

[Punishment set something thrumming insistent and angry in Yuan, this concept.]

The customary punishment would be death.

[A flat nail of a declaration. Something pounds behind Yuan's eyes. How-- dare he. Yuan is going to have to write to families, to spouses and children, and lie; he is going to have to carry the weight of knowing this could have been avoided if he had the hard heart he's meant to. If, if, if.]

[How dare Kratos give this mess to Yuan and bare his throat as though it is nobility. Even in this he is acting as though Yuan is his master, ceding control and fate and life and trusting that it will be taken care of.]

[And Yuan knows, already, somewhere in the thorny mess of possessive vines he calls a heart, that he will not be able to cut this thread short. Bile burns at the back of his throat. Yuan turns around; he cannot look right now.]

[He wants to leave. He wants to-- He can't; he has duties.]

Get out.

[He leans over, hands braced flat on either side of the little collection of clan-tokens. It is very difficult to make himself add:]

I expect you to be alive and unmaimed when I see you again. Remember that your life belongs to me. Now get. Out.

[simulsimul]

[Kratos doesn't know what he's expecting; perhaps nothing. But the command and the twisted fury in it makes him flinch nonetheless. He is -- grateful he did not bend knee, for it would have taken longer for him to rise if he had; as it is he rises as quietly as he can. He doesn't know if -- verbal acknowledgement will help; so he says nothing.

[He wishes he could have done anything else; but he hadn't, and couldn't, and Yuan had asked for him to speak of anything which might -- which might --

[Kratos swallows hard and leaves, as small as he can be. He'd washed skin where he could, at the kitchen; and he'd changed in the tent, before Yuan arrived. They'd had things handled in the mess, when he left. But he ... isn't sure where else to go, now, after the attack is surely going to fall into words of valour and bitterness. Even for being property, Kratos holds no illusions that some will be too hot with battle and rage to ignore his presence.

[So: he goes back to the kitchen, to sequester himself where he might be safest -- in the back of the tent where it opens to the river, where he can wash and scrub and do those chores no one wants to, and he is likely to be left alone.

[... Yuan, he realises only once he's settled, had not given him a time to return. And then, on the heels of the thought and gazing into the water: would it solve anything if I --?

[It isn't a thought to die; only that the river could take him ... somewhere else. Yuan could claim he was killed, claim whatever he liked to salve pride and hurt and ... and it would solve nothing. His life belongs to Yuan; Kratos promised it so, not half an hour before. And the river flows southward, besides. It would not carry him to Bia, or the remaining Tethe'allan forces.

[So, he scrubs what pots and pans are had; and when there are none left and the night is full and he has nowhere else to go, Kratos makes himself a bed in the corner, of rags and washclothes, and curls up to shiver through the night.]

[conductingresistance]

[Damn it. Damn it all.]

[What had he expected? A slave cannot be truly happy, cannot truly trust the one who owns them; Yuan should know this better than any. He doesn't know what he was thinking.]

[He was thinking--]

[--of holding someone who had needed it, and the low thrum of skyship engines in the background; of nightmares, and fears shared between them, and a promise that he would protect--]

[--of a respected enemy who could not be allowed to die like this. And that was where his error was: he had assumed, however unconsciously, that Kratos was no longer enemy.]

[Yuan settles over his writing and stares blankly. He could leave this for tomorrow, or the day after; but he is not really of a mind to. Now is the best time, while much of the camp is asleep and he will not be interrupted.]

[What does he say, to the families of those his slave killed?]

[A slave's life is not worth that of two good officers. If this comes out, Yuan must needs either kill Kratos himself, or his own life will more than likely be forfeit for protecting him. He fingers over bracelets and hair-beads and earrings and thinks of a family he does not and will never have.]

[Two letters must be done over for water damage. Yuan smears ink over the last two, rests his head in his hands.]

[Damn it. Damn him anyway. Damn his own traitor heart.]

[Yuan doesn't mean to, but he dozes off there, pen only loose between his fingers. He startles awake when it finally clatters to the ground. Where is-- when is--]

[It's late. Yuan automatically looks for Kratos before remembering. And then he remembers again, with a dull ache like emptiness, that Kratos is a Tethe'allan slave in a Sylvaranti camp that was recently attacked by Tethe'allans, and his owner is a half-elf whose only status is his rank. It will not be enough for some.]

[He can't deal with Kratos right now. It will, he admits to himself grimly, be worse if he finds Kratos dead come morning. With a grim sort of determination Yuan hauls himself up and stalks out of his tent to figure out where Kratos went.]

[The mess tent is his first check, since he was not specific and it is where he sent Kratos off earlier. He almost doesn't see Kratos; but he is well adjusted to looking for that particular shade of auburn. Yuan heads that way, jaw set. He will not raise hand to a slave, no matter his temper, no matter the offense. He will not. This resolve made, Yuan comes to a stop and looks down at the truly pathetic figure presented.]

[He feels-- sorry. Remorseful.]

[He quashes this under the sparking fury of letters he wouldn't have needed to write.]

Kratos.

[Perhaps it will be enough. Yuan doesn't particularly want to touch him to wake him.]

[simulsimul]

[It's enough. Kratos has dozed off and on, waking mostly when a shiver has been too much. He huddles in and closes his eyes more, and reminds himself that this is all most slaves get. And perhaps it's his due. He's unsure of how many betrayals he's just made; he doesn't know what he would do or how he would feel if he were in Yuan's place.

[He wakes again with a start at Yuan's voice, and for a moment thinks that he'd only dreamed it; but no, there's someone looming. With ash in his mouth and a dull heavy gut, Kratos rolls to kneel, as best as he can, and still not daring to lift his head. It is Yuan -- it's the same boots.

[His throat works, but no sound comes out. What words are there to say, after this? Yuan had told him to leave, and Kratos had left. If Yuan came after him before even morning, then surely he's rendering judgement.]

[conductingresistance]

[He is--]

[Very, very pathetic.]

[Yuan hurts. He does nothing about it.]

Get up.

[He doesn't know if Kratos's leg will hold him.]

We're going back to my tent.

[That's as far as he's gotten with regards to plans. Keep Kratos -- safe, ish -- while Yuan works on what the hell to do with him now.]

[simulsimul]

[That -- doesn't soothe Kratos any. It could be that Yuan has simply realised Kratos is not safe in camp, and intends to keep him alive to punish in a fashion that would assuage such things. Of course, what other means of punishment is there, except --

[Kratos rises painfully and without much in the way of balance. His leg has stiffened up with the chill and the hard ground; if it weren't for the brace, he would not be able to walk even with a cane. Even then, his pace is slow and heavily limping, almost as bad as without the brace at all; all his weight is on it rather than his foot, his leg refusing to hold him on its own merit.

[But he says nothing, nor makes a sound of pain; only follows Yuan back to the tent, cold and hands raw and heart likewise.

[He doesn't know what else he could have done.]

[conductingresistance]

[There is the trouble, of course: that Yuan, too, does not know what else Kratos could have done, and still be Kratos.]

[He had just-- forgotten. This is Yuan's fault ultimately. He relaxed too far, trusted too much. He-- can't let it happen again.]

[Even once the tent is closed with them in it he does not look at Kratos.]

Do what you need to be capable of walking in the morning. Then sleep. Be here when I get back.

[This is all terse, rattled off quick and low. Yuan can barely think straight. Once he has seen to Kratos's safety, he fully plans to leave again. There will be other things he can do in camp; things to keep him busy and let him think.]

[simulsimul]

[Kratos does not dare to look up, either. This, however, seems like it warrants some response, however slightly; so his voice is very soft, and burred from cold and exhaustion.]

Yes, Master Ka-Fai.

[It is an order, unquestionably; so Kratos does not wait for Yuan to move, or -- whatever he plans to do. Kratos limps to his bunk and sits, and proceeds to unbind the brace, all without looking up. He will need a heatpack, but that has been an on-again-off-again need, such that he has one powered by magitech stored in their personal medical kit.

[He is -- excruciatingly aware when Yuan leaves, but continues his assigned tasks nonetheless. When he lays down, he does sleep, if only for exhaustion; he doesn't wake, since it's warmer in the tent, with the heatpack, but the sleep is restless nevertheless.]

[conductingresistance]

[Yuan doesn't come back that night.]

[When Kratos calls him master he flinches, and it is not long after that before he stalks off again. He simply can't.]

[Instead he takes over a watch, and is given a surprised-grateful look for the takeover. Yuan ignores this; he has not done this for thanks. He only watches. Watches, and paces, and utterly fails to think through his problem even though he is genuinely trying.]

[It comes down to this: He cannot reveal publicly that Kratos has done this, which means Yuan is complicit at least in some small respect, and he hates that Kratos has made him so but he does not have the will and the gut to do as a proper soldier should with a traitorous prisoner of war turned slave.]

[The only conclusion Yuan comes to that night is that he should have known better.]

[In the morning there is little closeness. When he is relieved he moves back toward his own tent automatically. Kratos is there. Well-- Yuan doesn't have to look at him. Yuan lets him be and simply exists, perfunctory about what he needs to do for morning rituals. No help is requested, either explicitly or implicitly.]

[What is he supposed to do with this? The day marches on, time marches on, and all Yuan has is perfunctory orders.]

[simulsimul]

[It's as thought their states of late have been flipped, and Kratos feels more alone than ever. Having been in a skirmish brings to mind all the things he no longer has, the duties he can no longer fulfill; he dreams of battles and glory and swordplay in fashions that leave his cheeks wet when he wakens.

[He dreams of Vanaheim, but not as it was; just those days of fighting to defend it, and yet never the end. Nothing that would wake him in the night sobbing for the pain of it.

[... Not more than once or twice, anyway. Kratos bears it silently and asks for nothing from Yuan. He has earned this, just for being himself. There is nothing else he could have done. If he reminds himself of that, that the alternative is to bear the deaths of his fellows, his sister's soldiers -- it's. Almost enough.

[Kratos obeys orders without a word, with lowered head; any remarks or caustic words directed his way, he ignores. There are -- one or two who feel the need to punctuate their words with shoves, but he ignores these also. When he can, he turns to in the laundry or the kitchen. When he cannot, he makes himself small in Yuan's tent, something which is hopefully less of an invasion to Yuan's space.]

[conductingresistance]

[The worst part is that Yuan wants to do something, that once he hears Kratos weeping in the night. He wants to reach out, even knowing Kratos has since killed two of the people that Yuan swore to see home again. Even knowing this is not somewhere he can safely put his trust.]

[He curls into himself a little more that night and says nothing.]

[They stay there only long enough to recoup before pressing forward. It is now proven too dangerous to stay settled long. Camp is struck, moved on in efficient pieces.]

[Yuan... wonders what would happen if he spoke to Kratos. But he cannot imagine that Kratos doesn't know what he would say, at this point. Disappointment and pain and by all rights I should kill you myself sit unspoken on Yuan's tongue.]

[It isn't tenable, but at least, while they are moving, he does not immediately need to see Kratos.]

[simulsimul]

[It isn't tenable. It isn't at all; and the weight of it is almost unbearable. Even for Kratos, with all his stoicism and the knowledge that he had done this, it's unbearable. He is -- not so strong as to be able to manage forever, even if he deserves it. Not especially since he already knows he wasn't strong enough to stad up to O Branain's questioning.

[In the dark of an evening, in Yuan's tent, while they're so precisely ignoring one another, Kratos speaks low and raw to the darkness, where he doesn't know if he wishes Yuan is asleep or not.]

If it would assuage anything, please see fit to take my life.

[It is Yuan's. But surely, anything at all would be better than this -- this waiting.]

[conductingresistance]

[Yuan is on the edge of sleep.]

[Now he is not. This is enough to get Yuan sitting up sharp, for once looking over at Kratos. He's nettled to words, instead of the dull lack of solution that has been the last little while.]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[...it's hard to say if this is better than nothing or not.]

[simulsimul]

[Yuan, it transpires, is not asleep. Kratos exhales a breath, debates whether he -- has the nerve to act in a way other than a slave should.]

You said that should be the punishment.

[His voice, still, is low; and he doesn't quite look over, still laying on the bunk with his fingers laced over his chest, and head faintly turned.]

If that is to be it, then -- Yuan. I cannot stand this waiting.

[Yes, he dares, after all; voice raw and unhappy. He can't stand the weight of this. And now he's dared to use Yuan's name again, as if they aren't master and slave, as if they're -- friends --]

If there is something I can do then I will do it. Even die, if you so please. Only tell me.

[conductingresistance]

I marvel that you think I have the strength for that.

[Yuan's mouth curls distaste, his tone speaks of a bitter self-deprecation. There is no comment on the use of his name. As if it is a nonissue. Yuan himself does not know what it is.]

You ask impossible things of me. It would not please me; but my options have been reduced to lies or murder.

[At least this one puts murder off a while. Yuan's expression is a twisted thing in the dim, and when he speaks again there is a low rasp along the edges of his tone.]

No. It is my fault, trusting where I should not have; you will not die for it today.

[If anyone finds out that may be a different story.]

[simulsimul]

[That -- that stings. Even though it's true; even though Kratos betrayed his trust. But they had never spoken of this; only that Kratos would not be expected to fight. They had not anticipated what should have been so very obvious.]

You brought me here.

[Kratos's voice is thick, almost twisted in turn.]

What else could I have done? I did not mislead you. I never did.

[He had said he could not abandon Tethe'alla. This is why he chose slavery. He could not. Yuan had known this.]

I cannot promise --

[He can't promise he wouldn't do the same again.]

[conductingresistance]

I know.

[Yuan cuts him off at the pass, frustrated and bleak.]

I should have expected this. I did not. It is, as I have said, my fault and my responsibility to handle.

[But all this is clipped cold, and it does not mean things can be as they were between them.]

[Yuan's inability to handle this as he should is also his own responsibility.]

Enough.

[simulsimul]

[Not enough. It is not enough. For the first time Kratos moves, pushing himself up and swinging his bad leg around, and not quite sinking so much as falling, in a controlled fashion, to his knees in front of Yuan. His hands reach out, and if they cannot find hands then they will simply grip clothes.]

It is not your responsibility alone. Didn't you tell me to say when things -- were too much? When I could -- no longer bear it?

I cannot take it back; I cannot say I would do differently. If my only alternative in future is to do nothing or throw myself on swords instead, I know what I would choose, and it would not make you feel any better than you do now. But I made the choice, also. Don't -- if I am not to hold my feelings alone, than neither are you.

[He bends his head more, and his grip tightens, and his voice comes rawer still.]

You are mine also, remember?

[conductingresistance]

[Hands do not grip. But Yuan has clothing, still, and he looks over Kratos and hears his words and there is a peculiar distance about it all, as if Yuan cannot connect the reality of Kratos's emotions to himself, to the here and now of these feelings he himself has.]

[But: his mouth will not open for the caustic am I that lingers on his lips.]

[Finally something else manages.]

It was you who made the choice; but I allowed the situation to happen when I should have known better.

[He says nothing of feelings. He does not know if he can manage to take Kratos's in, let alone his own. He stares blankly down at Kratos's hands and head and he aches for this sincerity which he cannot-- he simply cannot.]

And now my options are to kill you myself, to clean up the mess I have allowed to happen, or to lie for you; and if the lie is caught there is every chance both of us will pay the price.

[But he has not killed Kratos. It should be obvious which he has chosen.]

You have made your choice, and I have made mine, foolish as it is.

[simulsimul]

[It was in the middle of an ambush, Kratos could point out, and almost does; how could Yuan possibly have prevented it. Perhaps it's something they should have discussed; perhaps it is reason Kratos should have stayed in Nidavellir.

[And yet: here they are.]

Then let me shoulder part of that burden, since it's due to my actions it is on you.

[He doesn't know what else he could have done. His head lowers until his forehead rests on Yuan's lap, his words a muffled whisper.]

Please don't let us end like this.

[Now that he's seen what could be, Kratos doesn't know how he could possibly live with them sundered. He would surely find a sword to throw himself on, as fast as possible.]

[conductingresistance]

[Let me shoulder part of that burden only sparks fear in Yuan, since he has just been speaking of death and murder, and all unconsciously furious his hands reach and settle, clutching too tight in Kratos's hair--]

You are not permitted to kill yourself, do you understand me? How dare--

[...wait. He might not even have been suggesting that, per se. And he may be hurting Kratos. Yuan frees his hands and lifts like he's been burned, shaking slightly, but Kratos is still in his lap, and all of a sudden Yuan aches in a different way, hearing the rest of what he has said again and again.]

[Please don't let us end like this. It says to Yuan that Kratos has some investiture in whatever the growing thing between them is; that it yet means something to him, those moments of care and odd closeness.]

[All in a rush Yuan wants to forgive him; and then he does not know how, and quick on the heels of that is a low quiet loathing, that Yuan could so easily put down the losses of two of the people in his charge only so he can have a friend--]

[His shoulders curve and his head bows, and he curls over Kratos as though to protect something, trembling and not quite touching and so, so unsure.]

[simulsimul]

[It does hurt, and sudden enough to wring a small noise from Kratos; but then Yuan releases him and Kratos misses the contact, however accidentally tight.]

I understand.

[His voice is still low and muffled by lap. Yuan has -- made it plain that his death would not help. His anger is of a different kind, a helpless kind, and -- and realisation makes Kratos tremble, and dig his fingers in, nearly as tight as Yuan just had.

[He'd done it again, hadn't he? What had made Yuan so angry lifetimes ago, when Kratos contrived to have Yuan do something without his consent. And now the apology falls out, something Kratos hadn't felt was appropriate, because he had said he would make the same choice again -- how could he have expected Yuan to accept an apology for something he would do again?]

I'm sorry. I've put you in a position with no choices once again.

[He hadn't meant to. He hadn't done it to manipulate Yuan into doing something, even something he felt was good for him. But he'd done it, and that's worth an apology. That isn't something he wants to do.]

[conductingresistance]

Sorry does not mean much when it comes to the dead.

[But this is dull and rote. One of Yuan's hovering hands comes to rest on Kratos's shoulder, all light and tremulous.]

I have choices. It is only that I cannot make those which as a commanding officer I should.

[It is easier to talk to Kratos than it should be. Yuan has a problem and he knows he has it, and he does not want to do much about it even though the correct course of action would be -- anything but this.]

Because of you.

[This is not bitter, nor cutting; it simply is. Yuan lets it sit leaden in the air.]

[simulsimul]

[The words sound like a rejection. All of the words sound like a rejection. But then, much of what Yuan says is a rejection, and his hand is warm where it brushes Kratos's shoulder.]

I know.

[But it is all Kratos has to offer; and it is that sort of thinking which has perpetuated the war. He turns his head to rest it more properly in Yuan's lap, and at same time shift so his shoulder is pressed more firmly against Yuan's hand.]

But the belief that such things are not enough has kept us warring for this long. So: it is not much. But can it be enough?

[For just the two of them, and the potential of friendship, and all the difficulties and doubts therein? Surely even now in their small way they're making history. Who ever heard of a Tethe'allan and a Sylveranti making friends?]